12/25/12

It's Christmas day.

It means I have a week before the beginning of a new year.

I guess, I learned a lot this year.
I always know that I am not an easy person.
Many people used to dislike me...and I guess up until now some people still do, which...I do not really mind-meeting a person, starting a friendship and the progresses after that, they're just basically taking risks.
I understand stuffs more clearly now-it's inevitable that there are some questions I'm just unable to answer. But hey, I'm still here, I'm still trying to stick with this path I chose to walk on.

I think, being exiled from my family, my circle of friends and my culture...just help me to know who I actually am. There's no pressure from the society to act like the society wants me to do so. My childhood came back to me in fragments...like short scenes of a movie, an epoch. I never experienced it back in high school. I guess, I suppressed my emotion a lot...after all, every time I let it burst, bad things happened, kinda. It's interesting that my childhood memory is coming back at me. Maybe, it's because everything seems to be in a slower pace in Abilene, in college. In Jakarta, everything is so fast paced, kinda.

I will protect this stillness, this peacefulness I have in my life.
I believe I'm tired of drama.

The clarity of mind- that is what my teacher used to tell me to have in order to be able to play the music splendidly; that is what I'm going to protect.