Well, I'm having my recital soon and yeah, I'm not actually super nervous or anything...
annnnddd...guess what, that was definitely a lie.
On Thursday, I was terribly nervous, up to the point where Dr. B has to informed the other piano majors about how stressed I am and how they need to encourage me.
Cool story, bro.
This includes her having to manage my illogical whines during the lesson, which, I believe, is included in her job's description. Well, if it's not, then she's definitely doing a charity act towards Michelle.
So, instead of practicing after having a lesson with her, I took a nap for 3 hours.
A good piano major, I have been.
Well, I slept at 1 o'clock the night before-well, actually on the same day-because I was studying for my intro to psych exam, which actually was not that amazingly hard.
I told myself that I could enjoy being in sophomore slump, but that didn't happen.
I overstudied stuff, again.
Anyway, today, I woke up early. I woke up at 6.40 or something like that...and went back to sleep. I finally woke up at 9.30-ish.
That's not the most important part. Michelle, control yourself and stop spilling unnecessary stuff.
The point that I tried to write here is that...
I realized that actually that recital is not that crazy.
It is crazy.
Stop blabbering.
Blah
Rephrase.
Okay, so this recital is not the end of the journey.
True statement.
It is something that exists as a benchmark. It's somewhat a celebration of whatever I have accomplished in two years since I graduated from high school.
--I don't actually feel like I accomplished anything sometimes.
It is a checkpoint in my journey.
Well, I read my old journal from high school - freshman year and I realized that...man, I have walked a long, long journey.
I just couldn't stop myself from smiling. Yeah, it was awkward. I was walking to the practice room from my dorm. People might judge me because of that.
Back to the topic, I just suddenly realized that my rep won't be perfect by the day I have my recital.
In fact, it may never be perfect.
There is always room for improvement. I will play better in the future-next month, next year, and so on.
So, here's my deal to myself, to that person who's so hard on herself sometimes.
I'm going to enjoy this ride.
While it lasts, I'm going to ride on the tide. I'm going to have fun.
It is undeniable that I will perform better in the future.
But hey, this is the best that I can give right now.
And... this is not about the praises, whatsoever.
"...For [praises] will be short-lived and won't equal to our labor..."
I'm going to be there to celebrate the beauty of life, to touch the souls, to make life somehow better.
Cause, this is the job of the musicians.
"...Music is what makes us humans."
So, y'all better come.
Cause people back home ain't gonna come.
My family here is my friends here.
:)
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